All About our Blanket Ceremony
About Our Blanket Ceremony
Sand ceremonies, candle lights, wine pouring… I’ve seen it all. It was hard for us to pick what was right for us, I knew I wanted to a unity ceremony that was unique for our Milwaukee ceremony. That’s why we chose to do the Native American tradition of a blanket ceremony.
We did do a sand ceremony, honestly, because I wanted to incorporate my son into our ceremony. I do LOVE sand ceremonies. They’re a good way to have something tangible that you can take with you, unlike wine or a candle lighting. They’re also cheap, and easy to put on a shelf. Although, yes, a good percentage of my couples do sand ceremonies, their symbolism isn’t lost even if you consider them overdone.
Why a blanket ceremony?
My (now) husband is Native America. That’s a huge part of his identity and culture, so I wanted to find a way to include that part of him in our ceremony. So, naturally, I went to Pinterest! Where else do I look for wedding inspiration?
I found a few poems and things but there wasn’t too much that fit us. Then I came across a gorgeous picture of a blanket ceremony.
What is a blanket ceremony?
A blanket Ceremony is an ancient Native American tradition. A couple is wrapped in a blanket and then kiss while wrapped up. We had our siblings, my sister (maid of honor) and his brother (best man) grab the blanket and then wrap us in it.
What it represents
So, let me say that first, we didn’t do everything exactly as the tradition is (modified for cost and simplification). Traditionally, both bride and groom are wrapped in separate, blue blankets by the officiant. Then the officiant gives his blessing and then removes the blankets. The couple is then wrapped in a single white blanket. The blue represents their past, single live, and the white represents their new life which will be filled with peace and happiness. The white blanket is kept by the couple and displayed in their home.
We used one single blanket, more to symbolize becoming one together, wrapped up to become one. The blanket was found at a Pow Wow, a Native American event, which I felt was important. I also didn’t feel having a white or blue blanket was necessary but getting it from a Pow Wow supported local Native vendors.
Different things are being thought of each year. I had a couple do a combination of 4 unity ceremonies, one for earth, wind, water, and fire. We thought this was perfect since it was part of his culture, but you don’t necessarily have to be Native American to do a blanket ceremony. Modify it, like we did, to fit you. No wedding has to be by the book, traditions are changing. Your wedding is about you! This tradition was perfect for us (and it kept us warm on a windy day)!
Note: All of the beautiful images of our wedding were done by Samantha Irene Photography. She is crazy talented and I couldn’t be happier with our wedding pictures. Please check her out at http://samanthaharmonsmith.tumblr.com/
March 25, 2018
[…] So… now your wondering why it took me so long to write this blog? Well, it’s because I lost a lot of my old blogs when I switched over. This halted a lot of things for me as I tried to replace the images I lost. I just decided to pull those blogs and move forward with what I had. In the next few months you may see some revamped “old” content. You can still see some of my favorite blogs up (like my most popular one about our blanket ceremony) […]
Absolutely Beautiful. We would love to do a Blanket Ceremony for our wedding. to honor my heritage. Did you have your officiant or tribal elder perform the ceremony? Congratulations 🙂
Thank you! It’s such a beautiful tradition <3 We had our officiant do it, he was very confused when we explained it.
Hi Libby, I am an officiant and one of my couples would like to have a blanket ceremony as part of their wedding. It looks really beautiful and I’m excited to be a part of it. Do you happen to have the script that your officiant used to explain the ceremony to the audience? I can’t find any online and would much appreciate the help. Thank you.
Belated congratulations on your wedding. I am also wondering if you are able to provide the script that your officiant used to explain the blanket ceremony. Thanks.
Hello, I have been researching for over a year and have not found a script for the blanket ceremony. Would you share the one you used, please?
Hello! I’m so happy everyone is finding this blog and wanting to use this tradition! Unfortunately I do not have a script. I did look and our officiant must not have written it in. Below is the script from our ceremony, preformed by SourceOne in Milwaukee.
We are gathered here today to celebrate the friendship of Richard and Elizabeth. That is what marriage really is, the
joining of two friends who want to be friends for as long as they both shall live.
A little less than five years ago Libby and Richard were steered towards each other by well-meaning mutual friends.
They both attended a party and the people who invited them asked them to spend the night. There were no easy places
to sleep and they were getting along famously at that point so one thing led to another and…… Libby slept on a couch
while Richard slept at Libby’s feet all night to guard her. I didn’t really get many more details about the party. Any
party where a young woman’s feet are in danger is not one a minister attends.
Libby’s first impression of Richard was that he was attractive, honest, and funny. Richard concurred that he was indeed
attractive, honest and funny. Seriously though, Richard thought Libby was all that and more wrapped up in a great
personality.
Now, Richard seems to think that he was the one who initiated dating between them. Every woman in here is smiling
and shaking her head. Men don’t get to make those decisions. Even though Richard clearly remembers asking her out;
Libby had already arranged everything to her liking and was simply waiting for Richard to catch up to her.
Their first date was very whimsical. They went to see Monsters Inc. in 3D. Some of you are puzzled by that movie
choice but I am just going to say that adults who enjoy cartoons together… belong together… FOREVER.
Afterward they went for a drive and Richard showed Libby where he grew up. Sharing such intimate information with
Libby shows just how much of an impression she made on Richard. He didn’t consciously know it but he was
subconsciously showing some serious commitment.
When I interviewed our happy couple they spoke of how they were introduced by mutual friends. It turns out that these
friends went to High School with Richard and then later went to college with Libby. Are those friends here with us
today? Give us a wave! So, if anyone did not want to leave the house today, now you know who to complain to.
Richard expanded a bit on their early time together as Libby was in college. He told me that he would travel 3 hours on
3 different busses to spend time with her. He went on to say that it was all worth it because; direct quote here, “She is
my other half. She completes me. I’ve never felt so loved.”
I also asked about what their families felt about Richard and Libby getting together. Richard confessed that his father
sort of looked at Libby as “another girlfriend”. He said that is was understandable because he was a bit of a player
when he was younger but all that fell away when he met Libby.
Libby admitted that her parents looked at Richard with an air of suspicion. Both Richard and Libby understood.
Families are supposed to be protective towards their daughters. Luckily Richard and his future father in law have a lot
in common. They have now bonded. Libby thinks that he likes Richard more than he likes her. That is never the case
Libby. As friendly as your father and Richard are, I’m sure he still stands by the “If you hurt my daughter…” speech
that comes straight from the “So you have a daughter” handbook that they handed out at the hospital when you were
born.
One of the questions I ask all of my couples is how you finally arrived at the decision to get married. I got a very
decisive answer. Leo. I have to say that he is the cutest answer ever given to that question!
Now that I am through introducing you to a room full of people that know you way better than I do let’s talk a little bit
about what you have in store in the future…
Marriage is not a black and white institution. There are no absolute wrongs and no absolute rights involved. Everything
in marriage is a series of greys. What I’m talking about is compromise and specifically married compromise. It’s is a
little different than regular compromise. When two parties compromise they do it in terms of “what will I be giving
up?” Married compromise deals more with your heart and it usually asks the question “What can I do to make our lives
better?” You can ask any married couple in here and they will tell you that marriage is hard work. But just because it’s
hard does not mean it’s bad. It’s hard because it is worth it. If you master this skill, this art of compromise, you will win
the big prize. Being married to the person you love, your best friend, forever.
Now, let me ask you two to do a couple of things for me. I want you to join hands. Now step a little closer to each
other. Adjust your grip a little if you need to… Now close your eyes. Take a deep breath. Relax.
Do you feel that? Can you feel how much love you have right there between you? Feels amazing doesn’t it? This
feeling is the most powerful thing on the planet. Every war ever fought, every invention ever created, every piece of art,
line of poetry or verse of song ever was thought up by either an abundance of or an absence of this feeling. Here are
you two… holding the most powerful force EVER… in the palm of your hands! Remember how this feels, because this
will be the source of all your strength, the means for your compromise and the reason for your smiles and laughter. As
long as you remember how you feel right now you will be together in marriage and deep in your hearts.
Do you have the rings? Libby and Richard have asked that I bless the rings. I like to have the parents help me bless the
rings. It shows that the marriage is blessed and welcomed by both families. If you could step out into the aisle to help…
Lord, the rings that I hold are only a symbol of the love and commitment that Richard and Libby are entering today.
We know you have already blessed these two young people by bringing them together and allowing them to experience
the love they have for each other. If you could add your blessings to these symbols of their love so that they also
become of symbol of your love for their union, we ask this in Christ’s name. Amen. Thank you.
Now, I have done quite a few weddings up to this point and I have seen a variety of vows but today’s vows are a first
for me. Richard and Libby have chosen to write and say their own vows. I find this to be a beautiful and touching
addition to their ceremony.
Vows
Libby and Richard have chosen to use the sand ceremony to show the strength of their love and commitment. The
beauty of the ceremony is that it shows the blending of two sands and when finished it would take a herculean task to
separate the two.
God put you both through some trials but he knew that if you relied on each other you would make it through those
trials and come out of it a strong and happy couple.
Richard, Libby, please kiss to seal this union!
Ladies and Gentlemen, please join me in welcoming Richard and Libby to married bliss.